Hi Reader,

How are things going? Have you been stepping out of your comfort zone?

Today I want to talk about something that comes up for a lot of my coaching clients — allowing ourselves to define what success means to us!

In the world of tech, there is one narrative that is commonly shared as the path to success: climb the corporate ladder, land that next pay raise, get the subsequent promotion, and voila! – happiness will magically appear upon retirement.

I recently heard a term for this: the “deferred life plan” – a notion that we should hustle now, even at the cost of our present contentment, for a future promise of joy. The irony is so often we don’t even know what that future joy looks like.

I’m not here to tell everyone to quit their corporate jobs; it’s a journey many enjoy and thrive on. But what if this roadmap isn’t yours?

Especially for us women in tech, societal expectations have often been our compass. As young girls, we were taught to be a “good little girl” and obediently follow the path paved for us. We were taught to put ourselves last and focus on supporting the needs of everyone else. We were celebrated for our accomplishments, and for meeting external benchmarks of success. The gold stars, the accolades, the applause – they became the drugs we didn’t know we were addicted to.

In the midst of all this external validation, introspection took a backseat. We didn’t learn how to build self-worth and we didn’t ask ourselves: Is this truly MY vision? Does this corporate ascent align with what I internally value? Or am I just seeking another pat on the back, another trophy for the shelf?

The danger in living someone else’s dream is that we become estranged from our own desires. So often I talk to women leaders in tech with a successful 20-year career and yet they are feeling unfulfilled but don’t know why. We trade our inner compass for the roadmap society hands us. It’s like being in the driver’s seat but allowing someone else to dictate the destination.

And so, I challenge you today: reflect. Is your current trajectory in tech-fueled by your own passion and vision, or is it driven by the hunger for external validation? Are you chasing your own dreams or someone else’s?

If you ever feel the weight of the deferred life plan bearing down on you, remember you have the power to define your narrative. And I’m here to support and champion you every step of the way.

Let’s break the mold together. If you need support in turning your vision of success into a reality, respond to this e-mail and let’s come up with a plan together!

Here’s to living your dream life,
Jossie
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