After walking away from Apple due to impostor syndrome, I discovered that mental fitness was the missing piece. Learn the daily questions and practices that can transform self-doubt into unshakable self-worth.

Would you walk away from a dream job at Apple because you felt like a failure—even while being told you’re exceptional?

That’s exactly what I did.

Despite receiving feedback that I was “the best manager” one of my employees had ever had, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was terrible at my job. When my team was restructured and my scope of responsibility decreased, that little voice inside me whispered: “See? They’re realizing you’re not good enough.”

Never mind my track record of success. Never mind the praise from my team. That restructuring became all the “evidence” my impostor syndrome needed to convince me I wasn’t cut out for leadership.

So I left. I walked away from Apple—partially because I couldn’t see my own worth through the fog of self-doubt.

Sound familiar?

When “Not Enough” Becomes Your Default Setting

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t truly belong in your role despite your accomplishments—like you’re somehow fooling everyone and it’s just a matter of time before you’re “found out”—you’re experiencing what many of us know as impostor syndrome.

It’s that nagging inner voice that whispers: “You’re not technical enough,” “Everyone else knows more,” or “You only got here because you were lucky.”

For women in tech, these feelings aren’t just occasional visitors—they’re often unwelcome roommates that move in and refuse to leave. Each doubt becomes another drop in our self-doubt bucket:

• We interpret being asked fewer questions as evidence we lack expertise—drop.
• We hesitate to apply for a role because we only meet 8 of the 10 requirements—drop.
• We transform constructive feedback into confirmation of our perceived inadequacy—drop.

And eventually, that bucket overflows, drowning our confidence and potential. We start playing smaller, hesitating to raise our hands for opportunities, or even questioning whether we belong in tech at all—not because we can’t do the work, but because we’ve convinced ourselves we’re not enough.

But I’m determined to change that narrative—starting with my own story.

The Plot Twist I Didn’t See Coming

What I couldn’t see then—but recognize clearly now—was the enormous disconnect between others’ perception and my self-view. While colleagues valued my leadership, my internal narrative was telling a completely different story.

But here’s where my story takes an unexpected turn.

Leaving Apple became the catalyst for creating an amazing life. Free from the daily grind, I gave myself permission to step back and truly focus on what I wanted—and more importantly, on building my own self-worth from the inside out.

I began asking different questions: Not “Am I good enough?” but “What would I create if I believed in my own value?”

That inner work changed everything. I went from doubting my leadership abilities at Apple to crafting my VP of Software Engineering role at Tile and now running a successful coaching practice dedicated to helping women in tech thrive.

I designed my career on my terms once I learned to own my worth—and you can too, without having to walk away from your dream job first.

The “Good Girl” Trap: Perfectionism’s Role in Impostor Syndrome

If you’re here, you’re probably a high achiever—someone who checks every box and always goes the extra mile. Yet, despite your hard work, you might often feel like it’s still never enough.

Why does this happen? Because many of us were taught early on that success comes from pleasing everyone, avoiding conflict, and always working harder.

I call myself a recovering “good girl” and people-pleaser—it’s a trap I actively choose to break free from every day.

The exhausting cycle looks familiar to many of us:

1. Work twice as hard to prove your worth
2. Achieve the goal (but discount your success)
3. Set an even higher bar
4. Repeat until burnout

This perfectionism feeds impostor syndrome directly. When your standard is flawlessness, even tiny mistakes become “evidence” that you don’t belong.

Here’s what most advice about impostor syndrome misses: we need to train our minds just like we train our bodies.

Mental fitness isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about strengthening your ability to recognize and quiet the voices that tell you you’re not enough.

Through the framework of positive intelligence, I’ve discovered that impostor syndrome is powered by specific Saboteurs—those inner critics that undermine our confidence and happiness. The most common ones I see in my tech clients include:

• The Judge: Constantly criticizing your performance
• The Hyper-Achiever: Equating self-worth with external success
• The Hyper-Rational: Dismissing emotions and intuition in favor of pure logic

These Saboteurs aren’t character flaws—they’re thought patterns we’ve developed to protect ourselves. But recognizing them is the first step to quieting them.

The antidote? Developing your Sage perspective through regular mental fitness practice. Just like physical exercise, small “PQ reps” (Positive Intelligence Quotient repetitions) build the mental muscle to shift from Saboteur to Sage when impostor thoughts arise.
A simple PQ rep:

1. Notice when your Saboteur voice appears (“I don’t deserve to be here”)
2. Take a deep breath and feel your feet on the ground (basically any activity where you connect with one of your 5 senses)
3. Shift to curiosity: “What would I focus on if I knew I was already enough?”

Even 10 seconds of this practice, repeated consistently, can dramatically shift your relationship with impostor thoughts.

Building Unshakable Self-Worth: Strategic Tools

You don’t need to prove your worth—you need to own it.

Self-confidence depends on external validation and fluctuates based on your achievements. But self-worth is deeper—it’s your inherent value, constant regardless of successes or setbacks.

“You are worthy simply because you exist—even if you never accomplish another thing.”

Let that truly sink in. (I know it took me time to fully accept it, too.)

Here are five powerful practices I use myself and recommend to my coaching clients:

1. Daily Intention Questions

Start each morning by asking yourself two simple but transformative questions:
“How do I want to feel today? What am I going to do to get that feeling?”
For example:

• “I want to feel more confident today → I will speak up at least once during the team meeting”
• “I want to feel accomplished today → I will complete that documentation I’ve been putting off”
• “I want to feel connected today → I will have lunch with a colleague”

This practice puts you in the driver’s seat of your emotions rather than letting impostor thoughts dictate how you feel.

2. Weekly Success Journal

Every Friday, document your wins—both big and small. Be specific about what you did, how you did it, and the impact it had. This creates concrete evidence against your impostor thoughts.

Example entry: “Led the feature planning meeting, navigated three competing priorities successfully, and created alignment across teams that was praised by the VP.”

3. Celebrate Small Wins

EProgress over perfection builds lasting confidence. Don’t wait until you’ve reached the final goal to acknowledge your growth.

When I was learning to rebuild my confidence after leaving Apple, I celebrated sending emails without over-editing them for an hour—small victories that gradually built a new belief that I could trust my voice.

4. Tailored Affirmations

Generic affirmations don’t work. Create statements that directly counteract your specific impostor thoughts:

• If you think: “I’m not technical enough” → Affirm: “My technical expertise is valuable and continues to grow”
• If you think: “I shouldn’t speak up yet” → Affirm: “I speak confidently, and my perspective enhances the conversation”
• If you think: “I just got lucky” → Affirm: “I’ve earned my success through consistent skill and effort”

5. Tech Sisterhood

Connect with other women who share your experiences. This provides validation, perspective, and reassurance that you’re never alone.

Some of my biggest breakthroughs came from hearing other successful women voice the exact same doubts I felt—it shattered the illusion that I was the only one “faking it.”

Your 7-Day Impostor Syndrome Challenge

Let’s turn insights into action. I’m challenging you to spend one week actively rewiring your relationship with impostor syndrome:

Day 1: Identify your specific impostor triggers. What situations make the feeling strongest?
Day 2: Practice a 10-second PQ rep when impostor thoughts arise. Notice, breathe, shift.
Day 3: Document three recent accomplishments with specific impact. Be detailed about what you contributed.
Day 4: Create personalized affirmations that directly counter your unique impostor thoughts.
Day 5: Reach out to one supporter who can provide honest perspective about your strengths.
Day 6: Say no to one thing that doesn’t serve your growth. (Remember: boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re essential leadership.)
Day 7: Reflect and commit to one ongoing practice that bolsters your self-worth.

You Are Already Enough

Remember this: External chaos doesn’t define your success—you do.

While systemic change in tech is still needed, you don’t need anyone’s permission to thrive right now.

When you stop over-proving, over-giving, and over-apologizing, you step into your true leadership power.

You’re already worthy. Own it, claim your space, and create the career (and life!) you genuinely desire.

Share your thoughts—I’d love to hear from you: What’s your biggest impostor syndrome challenge? —I read every response.

You might be interested in reading Reclaim Your Power: Run Toward What You Truly Desire.

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